Blank stare, dead air

So yesterday I had a moment of hesitation about getting the second part of my gap year moving. Not unlike the time I picked the shotgun back up and aimed with all my conviction at the clay pigeon hooked on a nail in the tree twenty paces in front of me after the firearm had kicked back into my shoulder so hard that I went into hysterics, I met my fears head on and through paroxysms of frustration and anger I coaxed the webbernets to produce confirmation numbers for a series of international flights. Not without some customer service interaction and a lot of mixed emotions.

Now here's the kicker: this is not normal. One does not just quit one's job...

Bank Teller: "Do you have a direct deposit on this account?"
Me: "No."
Bank Teller: "So is Skidmore Owings and Merrill LLP still your employer?"
Me: "No."
Bank Teller: "So you have no income on this account."
Me: "Correct"
Bank Teller: "So you are a student."
Me: "Of sorts"
Bank Teller: Blank stare
Me: Polite smile

At this time I am thinking, seriously, with the economy the way it is, is it still impolite to assume someone is unemployed? I guess it is. After this she tries to see if I will be keeping a certain balance on my account so she can upgrade me to a different plan. I tell her no, I will not be keeping this balance, and keep the part about how I'm going to spend all of it today on plane tickets to myself. Finally I can't take the puzzled looks and little grunts of the cut off beginnings of questions so I tell  her I am volunteering in Southern India and won't be working, receiving income or using my bank card for about three months.

One does not find time in her busy life...

Bank Teller: "Oh wow, I would love to go help volunteer for womens' rights in Cambodia. I want to help stop human trafficking, wow, I wish I could find the time... I'm married and have children, you know, so I'll never be able to, but I really wish I could"
Me: "That is wonderful, I hope that the opportunity comes into your life."

She proceeded to waive the service fee on my account for 4 months until I get back into the states, which was a really nice thing for her to do. I was glad that I finally told her what I was up to even though I would prefer if strangers don't inquire into my personal life.  Next I had to deal with the fallout from updating my billing address (which is what prompted the exchange above). This involved calling Expedia, to inquire why if my bank's information matched my input information what the hold up is, where...

One does not book flights without a return date...

Expedia Customer Service Agent: "We are very sorry for the inconvenience, let's see if we can go ahead and have this flight booked for you, what is the itinerary number?"
I give her the number.
ECSA: "I see and we are not showing any dates for your return on this itinerary, when will you be returning?"
Me: "I do not currently have the return flight scheduled"
ECSA: "You don't have a return flight?"
Me: "Not at this time."
ECSA: "Um, ok, Well we would like to go ahead and make a booking for your return while I have you on the phone"
Me: "Thank you, but I do not have a return date as of yet."

ECSA: "But..." Dead air.

Now I could hear the questions going through this nice woman's head through all that silence so I just proceeded to tell her that my travel plans were not yet confirmed and that I would not be booking return flights today. I'm not really returning anyway. I am just going to keep going forward until I have circled the globe and arrived in my original location. I am traveling East which means that my original location will actually be trying to catch up with me. She tried two more times to get me to book more flights but I just politely kept saying no. Besides ...

One does not spend all of their money at once...

While I am freaking out about having mistakenly shipped some very expensive electronics to the wrong address (Amazon, you make it a little TOO easy), I get a phone call from the Visa early detection program wanting to confirm some purchases that appear on my credit card. Yes, yes they are all my purchases. Apparently only criminals book international flights the same day they buy ipods. Now, I am happy that Visa is looking out for my best interests, but they called at the exact moment I was trying to dial up Amazon to change the shipping address so I didn't have to sit on the front porch of my old rental apartment in Riverwest all day waiting for a package. Fortunately the lady at Amazon was extremely helpful and changed the address before any items had been shipped. SIGH of relief. I do, however, anticipate some more customer service interactions and failed purchases as I try to book some more international flights in the next 48 hours. Lord have mercy.

So if you had the patience to get to the end of this post, you may have realized that I have booked my tickets to India and procured a music playing google machine for the road. This means I am actually going. Can you believe it? Yah, me neither.